He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
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I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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