I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
