dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
