Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
