addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
