I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
