this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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