and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
