I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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