there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Randomize
