How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
