'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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