Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
