playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
