Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
only you would photoshop your dick
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
