I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
