I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize