No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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