The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I cut my penus on the lid.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
