Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
