Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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