plz talk dirty to me
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
