lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
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I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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