Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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