what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
