in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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