oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
