so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
