Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
