I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
