i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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