four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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