So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
