Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
