Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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