maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
