Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i came on her dog
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
