..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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