my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
