My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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