Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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