absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
