I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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