Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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