i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize