Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
40s are totally the cure
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
