i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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