3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I CAN MOONWALK!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
