Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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