i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Oh god it's open bar.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
