and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
