ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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