I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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