So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
