The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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