Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
