i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
