Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize