Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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