i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
