So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
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If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
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